The day it all started

 

Its true.  I remember the day it all started.  I doubt my dear husband would recall the event, I was decidedly more distraught than he was.  Our first child was about 8 months old and I was worried that we were pregnant again.  However, all the home pregnancy tests were coming out negative.   I made an appointment  find out what was going on. The nurse at my doctor's office smiled at me like I was an idiot when she handed me a urine cup.   It was only a few minutes later that she came back apologizing about not believing me, and that their test had turned out negative also.

As upset as I was about a surprise pregnancy it was only a few months later that we were seeking medical assistance to get pregnant.

It went on for years.

 

Every step was a little more expensive than the last.  Every step was a little more painful than the last.  Our insurance company would require several rounds of each treatment before allowing you to try the next. It started with a simple pill, then they increased the dose, and increased the dose.  I went to an infertility clinic with doctors that specialized in my condition.  I was quite positive that my problems were about to be solved and that I would be 'knocked up' in a matter of months.... that was 3 years ago.

We did round after round of IUI's (intrauterine insemination). Each round required multiple blood tests and an ultrasound every 3 to 5 days all month long.  Carson became really good at attending these crazy appointments.  He always sat patiently behind the curtain and would help the doctor by turning off and on the lights.  I cant remember him complaining about any of it.  Our Nurse and Ultrasound Tech knew him by name and were always impressed by what a good kid he was.

There was only one time that I decided to give up.  It wasn't just a "I need a break", but a real true "I QUIT!!" mad at God,  hate my life, moment.  Our latest round of IUI hadn't worked. I sat staring at the tiny vile of medication that couldn't hold 10 drops of liquid but cost $500, and had a wee bit of a melt down.

I began my secret/not so secret investigation into adoption.  I would have done it in a instant... if I could only convince Curtis.  He has always been a big supporter of adoption, but just didn't feel like it was time for us to pursue that option yet.  He kept telling me "not yet" every time we talked about it.  

He was eventually able to convince me that I was not the walking money pit, and that our efforts and high medical bills would all be worth it one day.

As of January of this year we met the qualifications with our insurance company to try IVF.  Oddly enough , as of January of this year our insurance company also changed its rules, thus not requiring any of the IUI treatments. 

!@#$^%$#@

is the only thing that comes to mind.

The IVF process is very exact.  It involves very specific medication taken at very specific times (down to the hour).   I am not going to go into more detail about the process.  Just know that it really, really hurt.  I think this picture helps to describe what happens.

 

That. And the fact that I woke up after the procedure crying.  They were able to extract the astronomical amount of 36 eggs.  Nearly all of them survived to be embryos, and 9 are currently suspended in cryofreeze  as the worlds most expensive popsicles.

When it came time to put the embryos back inside the Mama (me) we went to the hospital fully prepared to have the them put back two. Twins.  However, the doctor had had bit of a tantrum.  He said he was willing to talk about it with us all day, but in the end he would only be putting one embryo back.  Instead of having a power struggle right there in the operating room we agreed to follow his plan instead of ours.  His was better anyway.

The good news is that we have 9 more embryos. What are the odds that they are ALL boys?